Kenapa ya kita sebagai manusia [terutama cewe] mau aja dibodoh-bodohin sama cinta? Kalau kita punya pacar dan pacar kita melakukan sesuatu yang salah, selalu aja kita nyalahin diri kita sendiri.

Mungkin gw kurang sabar kali, kurang pengertian.
Mungkin gw emang terlalu banyak main sama temen-temen gw.
Mungkin gw terlalu keras kepala.
Mungkin gw.. mungkin gw.. mungkin gw...

Kita selalu mencari berbagai alasan supaya apapun yang pasangan kita lakukan itu ngga salah, walaupun kita tau itu salah. Kita ngelakuin itu supaya yang salah itu kita dan dia ngga pernah salah.

That can be the start of an abusive relationship. Kalau si pacar mukul, ya biarin deh, nanti juga lewat masanya dia suka mukul. Mukulnya ngga sakit kok. Kalau si pacar suka maki-maki kita pake nama anggota-anggota kebon binatang, gapapa kok, at least dia ngga mukul. Kalau si pacar ngorbanin perasaan kita demi menyenangkan teman-temannya, kan artinya dia orang baik, mau bikin temennya seneng. Pernah mikirin perasaan kita sendiri ngga? Mikirin perasaan kita sendiri itu ngga egois. Ngapain punya pacar yang ngga bisa menghargai kita?

Gw yakin setiap dari kita deserve something more than that kok.. Kita ngga deserve digebukin, diludahin, dikata-katain, disia-siain.. Emang ngga gampang kalau disuruh ngelepasin seseorang yang udah jadi bagian hidup kita dan kita sayang banget. I know. Walaupun otak kita jerit-jerit ngasih tau apa yang seharusnya kita lakukan toh kita tetep ngga bisa.

Kaya temen gw slalu bilang..
Apa sih cinta hingga kita rela mati untuknya?

* sayangku.. loe ngga deserve ini dan obviously dia ngga deserve loe. i know it's easier said than done but you're better off without him. iloveyou.

FOUR MONTHS.

Lama ngga? Mudah-mudahan ngga ya. Tapi a lot of things can happen in 4 months.

Kalau janin, 4 bulan udah mulai tumbuh rambut.
Kalau bayi, 4 bulan udah bisa guling-guling.
Kalau kuliah, 4 bulan udah lewat 1 semester.
Kalau pacaran, 4 bulan udah ampir melewati honeymoon period.
Kalau cuaca, 4 bulan udah berganti musim (maksa deh loe).

Intinya... a lot of things can happen in 4 months.

Tapi tungguu.. tungguin gw.. 4 months and i'll be back!

It's hard when you wake up in the morning and realise that that thing that you used to have is gone. It's hard when you wake up in the morning and have a lump in your throat, your eyes start to sting and the only thing you can think of is how to stop yourself from crying. It's hard when you wake up in the morning expecting to hear a beep from your phone telling you that you have a new message but it never came. Mornings are the worst.

But think about it.. a new morning means a new chance. A new chance to learn, to love, to laugh, to cry.. It means there is an opportunity for you to start all over again. I start my mornings with a prayer, asking God to lead me everyday with the choices I make and the choices I have made.. And it takes a little bit of that pain away.

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star that's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confuse my feelings with the truth..

I sat there in front of a breakthrough. It was 20 inches and it took my breath away. I sat there in awe and I was dumbfounded. This breakthrough was able to stop my superfluous speech and made it hard for me to divert my attention. My eyes were glued. I furrowed my brows in concentration, trying to find the features of this innovation. New and improved, as people say.

I opened Safari and a large window unveiled before my very eyes. Never had I seen something of that kind with that size. I had to sit a bit further to avoid hurting my eyes.

That is one awesome piece of technology, that 20 inch Mac Desktop Computer.

A list of things to do before I die:

1. Learn archery
2. Skydive
3. Learn another language
4. Learn to horseride
5. Go to Venice
6. Get a star named after me [does anyone want to give me a star?]
7. Go on the MegaDrop!
8. Get a new piercing. Just another one on one of my earlobes.

... and the list will be added to soon.

I spent the last 4 days in a little town outside Perth called Bindoon. That town is so small they don't even have traffic lights! Everyday we went from one little town to another to sight see. Because the distance from one town to another is quite a bit, we always got to the next town after 2pm and most restaurants, if not all, in those towns close at 2pm. So the result is we never got one proper lunch. Or dinner. Good thing we brought instant noodles so we'd go back to our self contained chalet and cook some instant noodles. And there is no mobile phone signal! Talk about frustration.

The view was amazing though. As far as your eyes can see it's just green grass with cows, horses and sheep. It's good for refreshing a packed brain and sore eyes. At night, because it's so dark, you can see millions of stars. Sure you can see stars in the city too, but you would never be able to see this many stars. There's millions and millions of stars and I couldn't take my eyes off them. Too bad I couldn't take a picture because the picture wouldn't turn out anyway.

We got back to Perth last night and I was so happy to see my bed. I'm quite a fussy person when it comes to sleeping in another place. And even fussier when it comes to bathrooms that are not my own! I got home, took a shower and felt soooo clean afterwards. Haha. Sleeping in my own bed is so much better than sleeping in someone else's where many many people have previously slept in. I'm just glad to be back home and back to the city!

You can take the girl out of the city but you can't take the city out of the girl :)

Dalam hidup kita gw yakin pasti ada satu hal yang kita tau ngga baik buat kita. Nah, kita dihadapkan dengan 2 pilihan, quit it or keep doing whatever it is and deal with the consequences later. The best choice is to quit it and we know it. Kita tau kok kalau kita harus quit itu, kita bisa. Kita mampu dan everything is going to be okay. It's not that we can't quit it, it's more like we don't want to quit it.

Sekarang gw lagi dihadapkan sama pilihan itu. I know I can make it okay by quitting, but what if I don't want to make it okay?

What do you do when the one person who can make you happy and can accept you the way you are is the one person you can't be with?